Thanks to King Wally, I realized that I'm not doing my part to save the planet & save petroleum. In short, I'm letting the terrorists win (but I'm playing hard enough they think it's all them). So, here a few ways I've resolved to help save our precious natural resources:
- No more will I spurn the advances of vegans or fruitarians.
- To save petroleum wasted on latex, I'm back to the classic mix of pulling out or "Alka-Seltzer"
- To save water & energy on washing, I'll be encouraging my dates to wear as little (or, even better, no) underwear.
- I'll be cab-sharing every night after I leave a bar or club
- Next time in Amsterdam, only shows featuring local, organic or Fair Trade cucumbers and bananas.
- To avoid throwing away plastic, I'll stop telling women they didn't need enlargement surgery.
- My man waxes will only use organic wax
- To save electricity, I'll forego the softly lit pillow talk after sex for sleep
- 2 women + me = 2 showers fewer water
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