For Once, I DIDN'T Have This Coming to Me

So, I'm in Cesky Budejovice on a Saturday night, minding my own business & watching the Euro 2008 game on TV. Toward the end of the game, some of the young guys (18ish? guessing the age of young GUYS isn't my specialty) at the table next to me join my table for a better view of the last-minute excitement of the game. One of them, Pavel, starts talking to me (he clearly wanted to practice his English). He's out drinking to celebrate the end of the soccer season with his team. I buy him a beer and then he invites me to join them for the evening. It's all good -- for now.


At the next bar (they talked of going to a club, but weaseled), their HOT (they were Czech) chicas joined and flirted with most of the team.


I was on my good behavior, so not only did I not chat them up, I even refrained from gawking or taking photos (my bad). I chatted with Pavel and his buds, shared rounds, and had a good time.


This is where it gets a bit odd. Normally, I'd get hammered, make an ass of myself and expect/hope for CW or Big Dave to bail me out. Not this time. I'd just about finished my (next-to-) last round when nature called. Afterward, being tipsy enough to use the air dryers (and not sober OR drunk enough to just wipe my hands on my shorts), I am drying my hands when someone walks behind me & pushes my face into the wall. Hard enough to hurt, but not to draw blood. Being a nice guy, I assume this is someone bumping into me. I turn around and see...


Apparently this nutsack wasn't as jolly as his teammates -- the tall douchebag was behind me and says, "let's go outside. I'm going to kick your ass." Thinking quickly, I reply, "OK!"

I know that if his chums are also into this, I'm fucked. So we leave the bathroom & he heads for the back beer garden where the team is & I turn left for the front door. As I exit, I decide it's time for an interval workout & start sprinting (in my sandals). After a few seconds I hear steps & shouts. NOw this could be a) he & his buddies letting me in on the joke OR b) he & his buddies letting me in on the ass beating. I decide discretion is the better part of valor & head for home. They give up & I arrive to this:

If you look closely at the jackass in the mirror, you can see the red mark on his chin from the wall. On the other hand, the beer in Cesky Budejovice is quite tasty. When I got back & saw the mark (and felt it), I realized that a) I was lucky to have all my teeth and b) I can piss people off when I'm on GOOD behavior. Damn straight.