Woooooo, Will Ferrell!

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Some important, probing questions are asked (and answered!) by everyone's second favorite elf (Legolas kicks ass!).

Just Trying To Be Nice

We've all been there before -- you see a friend you haven't seen in a while and you say, "You look great! Did you lose weight?" Normally s/he (ok, fine, "she") says, "Thanks! I've been working out" or at least "Thanks! I haven't, but that's nice." You don't expect, "Nope, same as always." So I'm faced with a dilemma of what to say. To cover, I go with humor.

FREE TIP: women don't think this is funny.
"Hm. I must just remember you as being heavier"

Now, this wasn't my greatest line. It can't compare to "let's go gaff some babes", "LeChad" or my other time-honored classics, but it was solid. Having noted this, I have to say that the audience reception was less than enamored. You've been warned.

Such A Double Standard

I think it's bullshit that when a coworker is being a jackhole and blames it on "low blood sugar", she's given a cookie. When I blame my own behavior on "low blood alcohol", people give me speeches about rehab instead of a drink.